Dossappgil is a god.

It takes the form of a large, fussy goat.

Dossappgil created Mount Everest two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossappgil, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dossappgil, it will turn you into a tree.

Dossappgil's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Dossappgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near gulls while wearing magenta shorts and balancing five copper spheres on your head.

2. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

3. You must pray to Dossappgil six times a day.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.