Quatcepfagnell Satyaknurt is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonest yak.

Quatcepfagnell Satyaknurt created the cosmos seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatcepfagnell Satyaknurt, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quatcepfagnell Satyaknurt, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quatcepfagnell Satyaknurt's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Quatcepfagnell Satyaknurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Run away from violet sheep, for they are unholy.

5. Do not cook food in pots.