Pitsidwig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, compassionate centaur.

Pitsidwig created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitsidwig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pitsidwig, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Pitsidwig's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Pitsidwig's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never skip in the presence of elders.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think ill of sick monkeys.