Spagjoncepflig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, confident squid.

Spagjoncepflig created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagjoncepflig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Spagjoncepflig, he will manifest in front of you.

Spagjoncepflig's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Spagjoncepflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention foxes.

2. Never cross forests at dusk.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

5. Never chant in the presence of elders.