Mettabtetti is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, omnipotent gerbil.

Mettabtetti created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Mettabtetti, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mettabtetti, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Mettabtetti's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Mettabtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never talk about dolphins.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never run in the presence of elders.