Japhamaf is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, contented squid.

Japhamaf created Asia two billion years ago.

If you believe in Japhamaf, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Japhamaf, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Japhamaf's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Japhamaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange skirts.

2. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

3. You must never eat turnips.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Pray only in shadows.