Stigjarngil is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unjust dryad.

Stigjarngil created energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stigjarngil, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stigjarngil, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Stigjarngil's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Stigjarngil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Always count to nine before sleeping.

4. Feed all hungry snakes.

5. Do not stand on grass.