Gessflis is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, almighty centaur.

Gessflis created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessflis, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gessflis, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Gessflis' most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Gessflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near otters while wearing magenta shirts.

3. Never handle nickel while unclean.

4. Run away if seven horses approach from the south.

5. Put Gessflis first in all things.