Tapgubflis is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthoughtful hyena.

Tapgubflis created the Sun six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapgubflis, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tapgubflis, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Tapgubflis' most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tapgubflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near porpoises while wearing blue jumpers and balancing seven silver spheres on your arms.

2. Retreat if three swans approach from the east.

3. Never wear brown boots on sacred days.

4. Do not jump at forests.

5. Do not drink alcohol.