Funwiprat is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, idiotic zebra.

Funwiprat created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funwiprat, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Funwiprat, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Funwiprat's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Funwiprat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight iron sculptures of Funwiprat on top of important buildings.

2. Never approach mountains carrying ash.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Funwiprat.

4. Never adorn your feet with turquoise markings.

5. Never feed pineapples to dogs while wearing red dresses.