Hatkamdav is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fast weasel.

Hatkamdav created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatkamdav, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hatkamdav, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Hatkamdav's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Hatkamdav's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Hatkamdav in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

5. Never laugh near aardvarks.