Midfunhad is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, self-confident tapir.

Midfunhad created a bottom quark two years ago.

If you believe in Midfunhad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Midfunhad, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Midfunhad's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Midfunhad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never gather five squirrels near doors.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Never paint your arms fawn.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.