Tonkoncip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest wyrm.

Tonkoncip created a charm quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkoncip, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tonkoncip, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tonkoncip's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Tonkoncip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near bats while wearing red jumpers and balancing three zinc spheres on your feet.

2. Do not prepare melons while filled with fear.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Shun those given to sloth.

5. You must pray to Tonkoncip four times a day.