Fagontflam is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonourable tortoise.

Fagontflam created the world seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fagontflam, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fagontflam, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fagontflam's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Fagontflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Hide if six monkeys approach from the east.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Heed all dreams.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.