Geploopquag is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, staggering gorilla.

Geploopquag created the Andromeda Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Geploopquag, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Geploopquag, it will destroy your favourite star.

Geploopquag's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Geploopquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your head before prayer.

2. Never mark doors with mauve.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.