Labbotbessat is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, confident centipede.

Labbotbessat created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labbotbessat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Labbotbessat, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Labbotbessat's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Labbotbessat's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not prepare parsnips while wearing tights.