Xemyakgut is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, witless centaur.

Xemyakgut created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemyakgut, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Xemyakgut, he will laugh at you.

Xemyakgut's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Xemyakgut's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never travel toward the east during summer.

3. Xemyakgut must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never feed limes to frogs while wearing black corsets.