Bunartquartjigflandid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, kind zebra.

Bunartquartjigflandid created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bunartquartjigflandid, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bunartquartjigflandid, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bunartquartjigflandid's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Bunartquartjigflandid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Retreat if six badgers approach from the north.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Bunartquartjigflandid in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never pray while filled with fear.

5. Never feed apples to swans while wearing corsets.