Hakmapdotcettaggamzogfed is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, two-faced manatee.

Hakmapdotcettaggamzogfed created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakmapdotcettaggamzogfed, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hakmapdotcettaggamzogfed, it will come to you in dreams.

Hakmapdotcettaggamzogfed's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Hakmapdotcettaggamzogfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of order in the presence of elders.

2. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

5. Never remain standing at dawn.