Raktailmipnib is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, weak horse.

Raktailmipnib created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Raktailmipnib, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Raktailmipnib, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Raktailmipnib's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Raktailmipnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

2. Never stain your chest with orange.

3. Erect eight silicon sculptures of Raktailmipnib on top of important buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.