Catnibrot Ominxintikcemxucrill is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, unselfish spider.

Catnibrot Ominxintikcemxucrill created tapeworms six million years ago.

If you believe in Catnibrot Ominxintikcemxucrill, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Catnibrot Ominxintikcemxucrill, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Catnibrot Ominxintikcemxucrill's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Catnibrot Ominxintikcemxucrill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place parsnips upon stone.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Do not run in public.