Satgedken is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless newt.

Satgedken created the Black Eye Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satgedken, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Satgedken, it will refuse to believe in you.

Satgedken's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Satgedken's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four zinc sculptures of Satgedken on top of important buildings.

2. Never wear black boots.

3. Never adorn your back with indigo markings.

4. Do not prepare peanuts while filled with envy.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.