Fetyattlen is a god.

He takes the form of a large, calm centaur.

Fetyattlen created the Tadpole Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetyattlen, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fetyattlen, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Fetyattlen's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Fetyattlen's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

2. Never eat melons on fasting days.

3. Never record secrets.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching copper.