Metfadlatjipgessranvagyat is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, happy meerkat.

Metfadlatjipgessranvagyat created the Black Eye Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Metfadlatjipgessranvagyat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Metfadlatjipgessranvagyat, he will torture you forever.

Metfadlatjipgessranvagyat's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Metfadlatjipgessranvagyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the west during spring.

2. Always treat manatees with great respect.

3. You must never eat apples.

4. Never mark doors with red.

5. Never discuss amino acids in public assemblies.