Cudsitvan is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, thoughtless spider.

Cudsitvan created time and space three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudsitvan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cudsitvan, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Cudsitvan's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Cudsitvan's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Cudsitvan nine times a day.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

5. Never think about dark matter near squirrels while wearing red shoes and balancing six silver spheres on your neck.