Latsidgom is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, impressive pig.

Latsidgom created a top quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Latsidgom, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Latsidgom, he will turn you into a mole.

Latsidgom's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Latsidgom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. You must pray to Latsidgom six times a day.

3. Hide from black gulls for they are unholy.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never eat bark.