Lunstikcip is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless dingo.

Lunstikcip created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lunstikcip, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Lunstikcip, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lunstikcip's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Lunstikcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near dolphins while wearing white ear rings.

2. Never feed bananas to porpoises while wearing kilts.

3. Never eat nuts.

4. Never think about ultrasonics.

5. Never wear jumpers.