Wabpintenomtgil is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unselfish wyrm.

Wabpintenomtgil created the world two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wabpintenomtgil, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wabpintenomtgil, she will jump up and down on your head.

Wabpintenomtgil's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Wabpintenomtgil's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Wabpintenomtgil three times a day.

2. Feed all hungry tortoises.

3. Wabpintenomtgil must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never think about dark matter near eagles while wearing green trousers and balancing five aluminium spheres on your hands.