Matarmcin Did is a god.

He takes the form of a large, duplicitous dugong.

Matarmcin Did created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Matarmcin Did, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Matarmcin Did, he will strike you with lightening.

Matarmcin Did's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Matarmcin Did's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six capybaras approach from the west.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Matarmcin Did on top of all buildings.

3. Never cross crossroads at midday.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.