Vanvonbarn is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, amazing dragon.

Vanvonbarn created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanvonbarn, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vanvonbarn, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Vanvonbarn's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Vanvonbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study bacteria on holy days.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

3. Never chant while facing east.

4. Shun those given to sloth.

5. Never feed lots of parsnips to aardvarks while wearing cyan scarves.