Gudhadquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, almighty octopus.

Gudhadquaf created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudhadquaf, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gudhadquaf, she will turn you into a snail.

Gudhadquaf's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gudhadquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach rivers carrying wood.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

4. Never gather five ants near towers.

5. Do not keep three goats in a large pit.