Fignutmif is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, awe-inspiring octopus.

Fignutmif created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fignutmif, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Fignutmif, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fignutmif's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Fignutmif's Holy Commandments

1. Fignutmif must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Never talk about aardvarks.

4. Never hurt geese.

5. Never travel toward the north during summer.