Gatcudfonqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, able hyena.

Gatcudfonqueeg created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gatcudfonqueeg, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gatcudfonqueeg, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Gatcudfonqueeg's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Gatcudfonqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never allow swans to witness sacred rites.

3. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Pray towards the south.