Lunpagmig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, ruthless rhinoceros.

Lunpagmig created humanity six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lunpagmig, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lunpagmig, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Lunpagmig's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Lunpagmig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven copper sculptures of Lunpagmig on top of important buildings.

2. Never chant near bats.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lunpagmig.

4. Never write about dark matter.

5. Never talk about cell theory.