Tenkipcid Bassbum is a god.

It takes the form of a small, astonishing troll.

Tenkipcid Bassbum created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenkipcid Bassbum, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tenkipcid Bassbum, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tenkipcid Bassbum's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tenkipcid Bassbum's Holy Commandments

1. Tenkipcid Bassbum loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always act with patience.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.