Fidartjat is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish jellyfish.

Fidartjat created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidartjat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fidartjat, she will turn you into a duck.

Fidartjat's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Fidartjat's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always store spinach above ground.