Funxucdog is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, happy newt.

Funxucdog created everything that exists seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funxucdog, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Funxucdog, it will throw large rocks at you.

Funxucdog's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Funxucdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

3. Do not keep nine horses in a large pit.

4. Always count to six before sleeping.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.