Nibbestlimfeb Fumpin is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, strong parrot.

Nibbestlimfeb Fumpin created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibbestlimfeb Fumpin, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nibbestlimfeb Fumpin, it will not care at all.

Nibbestlimfeb Fumpin's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Nibbestlimfeb Fumpin's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never laugh in the presence of capybaras.

4. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

5. Never allow swans to witness sacred rites.