Larpgofcapsafkipgarhot Yimsterkip is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, self-confident unicorn.

Larpgofcapsafkipgarhot Yimsterkip created tapeworms six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larpgofcapsafkipgarhot Yimsterkip, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Larpgofcapsafkipgarhot Yimsterkip, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Larpgofcapsafkipgarhot Yimsterkip's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Larpgofcapsafkipgarhot Yimsterkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never jump in the presence of elders.

4. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

5. Pray towards the north.