Quimlipcin is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, resourceful horse.

Quimlipcin created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimlipcin, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quimlipcin, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Quimlipcin's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Quimlipcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never think about special relativity near sheep while wearing mauve shoes and balancing five nickel spheres on your arms.

3. Always store coconuts above ground.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not prepare grapes while wearing shirts.