Taplipmat is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, sage mongoose.

Taplipmat created the planet Saturn five million years ago.

If you believe in Taplipmat, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Taplipmat, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Taplipmat's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Taplipmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never wear indigo coats on sacred days.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.