Fonfemdanbestwatkan is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, egotistical yak.

Fonfemdanbestwatkan created humankind eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonfemdanbestwatkan, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fonfemdanbestwatkan, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fonfemdanbestwatkan's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Fonfemdanbestwatkan's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove skirts before touching silver.

2. Do not sprint at rivers.

3. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Fonfemdanbestwatkan in the centre of the settlement.

4. Retreat if four bats approach from the north.

5. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.