Flatwadsak Badtonhon Cussbattag is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, sapient badger.

Flatwadsak Badtonhon Cussbattag created an electron seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatwadsak Badtonhon Cussbattag, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flatwadsak Badtonhon Cussbattag, it will be very sad.

Flatwadsak Badtonhon Cussbattag's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Flatwadsak Badtonhon Cussbattag's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in summer.

2. Never record numbers.

3. Do not wear fawn clothing.

4. Do not prepare beans while wearing shorts.

5. Always help tortoises in need.