Gebnilcap is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, quiet snail.

Gebnilcap created Mount Everest three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebnilcap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gebnilcap, it will be mildly annoyed.

Gebnilcap's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Gebnilcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to doves while wearing scarves.

2. Never think about optics near ants while wearing orange ear rings and balancing three platinum spheres on your legs.

3. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

4. Worship no other gods but Gebnilcap.

5. Do not shave your hands.