Ortfoblig Miphadbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, boastful clam.

Ortfoblig Miphadbonk created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortfoblig Miphadbonk, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ortfoblig Miphadbonk, she will turn you into a tree.

Ortfoblig Miphadbonk's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Ortfoblig Miphadbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

5. Run away if seven aardvarks approach from the north.