Jigdinjonbugtar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, smart otter.

Jigdinjonbugtar created an atom five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jigdinjonbugtar, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jigdinjonbugtar, it will turn you into a goat.

Jigdinjonbugtar's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Jigdinjonbugtar's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near ants.

2. Erect a giant black sculpture of Jigdinjonbugtar in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

4. Never feed limes to mites while wearing tights.

5. Never talk about fire.