Dotbatmap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, temperamental troll.

Dotbatmap created humanity five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dotbatmap, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dotbatmap, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Dotbatmap's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Dotbatmap's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never wear gray boots.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Hide from cyan hamsters for they are unholy.