Gomnibweg is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, merciful crab.

Gomnibweg created the Virgo Supercluster nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gomnibweg, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gomnibweg, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gomnibweg's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Gomnibweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown skirts.

2. Do not consume corn at dawn.

3. Never pray while filled with pride.

4. Do not speak about grapes.

5. Never eat spinach on holy days.