Flanwiprat is a god.

It takes the form of a large, able spider.

Flanwiprat created Africa four million years ago.

If you believe in Flanwiprat, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flanwiprat, it will turn you into a hamster.

Flanwiprat's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Flanwiprat's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Flanwiprat.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never sit near badgers.