Jontikpark is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, weak chinchilla.

Jontikpark created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jontikpark, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jontikpark, he will turn you into a goat.

Jontikpark's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Jontikpark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never whisper while facing west.

3. Do not hurt whales.

4. Always obey Jontikpark's priests.

5. Never think about planets.